Autism Series, Part #1

I wrote the below six months ago and published it elsewhere. I am reposting it now because in the next couple of days I'd like to focus on Autism and it's effects and the up and down roller coaster that is life. Plus, I'd like you to see the difference six months makes in someone's outlook.


So, this morning I posted a link to an article on the Autism Speaks website. And to give you a very basic background most folks involved in autism are divided into 2 camps: those that believe vaccines contribute to autism and those that do not. Depending on what research you listen to you can find very valid arguments for both. I am the mother of an autistic child, not a scientific researcher, so I have a very real, and very emotional investment in all of this.



I am writing this note because after I posted the link I got 2 texts and an email telling me why I should present arguments for the other side. Sadly, I am not really interested in presenting an unbiased view. And the reason is that the folks that sent me these messages do not have autistic children.



I will now tell you why my life with autism is very, VERY different from life without autism.



My son is 8. In some ways he is very typical. He loves football, baseball, Japanese anime cartoons and swimming. His favorite color is blue. His favorite food is Wendy’s. He is extremely affectionate and curious. He is self sufficient; he would rather do something himself that ask for help. He is also aggressive, anxious, unfocused and NON VERBAL.



None of these things mean that he is retarded or unintelligent. Do not underestimate him; the way his mind works is astounding. In some ways he is like a 4 year old; in others like a teenager.

He is learning to read even though he doesn’t speak and I am ETERNALLY INDEBTED to his teachers, therapists, counselors, etc. because without them I would be lost. Every bit of patience and kindness is appreciated.

That is the present and things are moving forward; I’m “content” at best. The issue is what will happen to my child as an adult. As a non verbal autistic will he be able to hold a job? Earn enough to support himself? Have medical insurance? Will he be able to live independently? Should I give up because this is hard and relegate him to a life in a group home (if, financially, that will even be an option)? Will he have his own family? Will he live with me until I am too old to care for him? Will I be doing him a disservice by even encouraging that idea? And what happens after I am gone? Who will ensure that he is OK? Who will take care of him financially and physically? He has no siblings so who will accept that task after I am gone? And even if he had siblings would it be proper to ask them to accept that burden after a lifetime of getting less attention from your parents because you WEREN’T disabled?



These questions (and so many more) are the things that go through my mind on a DAILY basis. All I’m asking is that after reading this you at least EXAMINE the risk of stacking multiple vaccines.



Now, having read this do not do any of the following:

1. Do not hug me or emotionally try to “comfort me”. The universe / God / whatever higher power you believe in gave me this task for a reason.

2. Do not feel bad for me / pity me. See above.

3. Do not dump me full of accolades. I know I’m a good mom. I know I’m a strong person.

4. Do not hide the successes of your children from me. You are all my friends and I love you dearly and I am happy for each one of your milestones. Plus, it helps us set a goal. It makes me hungry for what you have and reminds me to not give up.



So, do with this note as you will. Reprint it, repost it, heckle it, ignore it. It’s only one person’s thoughts and if nothing else it draws attention to the cause. And that is the most I could ever ask for.

True confession of the day

In this day and age everyone seems to send out the photo Christmas card. You know the ones. Collages of pictures of the family and the kids. Beautiful shots featuring coordinated outfits and smiles.

Here's what I do with those: I THROW THEM AWAY.

Obviously, I wait until after the holidays. But the thing is, I feel bad about it. REALLY bad. And I don't know why.

Am I supposed to keep them? I only have so much room on my fridge and honestly, between Mr. Little Man's artwork and my Wesley Wyndham-Price shrine, nothing else fits.

What do you guys do?

The New Catchphrase

By now everyone knows about Calvin Tran, right?



Oh Here Go Hell Come is the new catchphrase. Clearly.

All the cool kids are saying it.